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The Runaway Groom
I went to Vegas with him on a dare, and woke up wearing a plastic ladybird ring and a missing groom.
My friend Paul dared me saying, I couldn’t get a date, even if I paid for it.
Why is it so hard for guys to conceptualize willful celibacy?
It is my choice not to date right now while I sort my life out.
My long-term boyfriend dumped me after eight years of living together.
That’s eight years of my life I’ll never get back.
Spending the weekend with a total stranger was my one-finger salute to heartache.
After all, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?
What happened in Vegas should’ve stayed in Vegas, not follow me home, tattooed in my belly and my heart.
It was two frigging days, for crying out loud.
Yes… two days of passionate, intense coital manipulation that set my hair on fire.
Who knew a tongue could be used that way?
I found a ticket in the Hugo Boss shirt he left behind, along with his new wife, that said William Shakespeare.
The whole world knows that’s not his name.
That dude’s been dead for over four hundred years . . .
Well, the stick turned pink.
I now have to find him, but who is he?